It's all coming back to me now

For the last two weeks I have felt the desire to write on this silly ol'thing but not exactly sure what to say or the time to say it but it finally got the better of me and here I am.

Teaching- 

I finished year one of teaching and gearing up to go back for round two! When i think back on this school year I have to laugh at all the crazy things that happened, the memories, and changes throughout the year.  Even on the hardest day though I wouldn't trade it. It is a blessing to be able to do what I feel God has called me to do. it was the glue that held me together through the school year and it will be glue that holds to be together for hopefully many more. My students have forever engraved footprints that I have come to believe that only could be engraved in a teachers heart by their first class.

Those Wilgings

There has been changes in my family as well. My brother Steven graduated high school and will be heading to Mount Vernon Nazerene this fall to play soccer. I am excited for him and what God has in store for him! Matt and Jess- my brother and sister in law- will be heading to Philly in a few weeks for Matt to start his grad school career. They already have an apartment and Jess found a job so those are huge blessings from the Lord! Also, Arcadia- the school, is giving my brother a half scholarship- another huge blessing for them! I am excited for them as well and to see how God will grow them together being away. I will miss being able to see them when I visit my parents though! Megan, my youngest sister, will be a kindergartener and beginning her school career. She has so much sass and already informed my mom she will not be wearing the school uniform!

My Jesus

I am finally beginning to come out a funk with Jesus and He is turning my heart of stone back to into a heart of flesh. It felt hard to trust His promises or keep praying when I couldn't see or hear answers. I was tired of wrestling and feeling as though I was getting know where. It felt easier to ignore Him than to talk to Him or spend time with Him. The Lover of our Souls is a relentless pursuer though and I am so glad He is! "He has removed my heart of stone and given me a heart of flesh"

 I pray that you are enjoying summer and doing well.  I pray your heart is soft to be molded and senstive to the leading of God and His Spirit. Blessings, encouragement, and love!

Katie

I am not sure if any one reads this anymore but in attempts to keep up with it more I am posting and I guess just because... just because I want to.

I am ready for Christmas break... and so are the kids. I have decided that between Thanksgiving break- Christmas break it is very hard to get anything accomplished the kids are so excited and anxious for Christmas. 5 more school days.... we can do it!

I can't wait to see my family Friday night. I am ready. It will be my first Christmas break as a professional, a teacher, going back to my parents house. I can't wait to celebrate with them. 6 more days- and then here I come precious family

God and I are in a time of wrestling, growing, and painful convictions. I have often been reminded of the quote from The Loin, The Witch and the Wardrobe- " Safe? oh he is not safe but He is good". God did not promise ease or comfort but He promised He would be the anchor of our souls who holds it all together.

Please update me on how you are doing and how I can pray. I pray you are resting in the truth that He is good and that He is the anchor of our souls. I pray that you will be blessed, strengthened, and encouraged.

                                   We have this hope as the anchor for our souls,

                                                            Katie

I guess I will use the ever popular it's been awhile phrase-  it's been awhile.

Stll trying to figure out this first year of teaching thing. I can't believe it is almost half way over. It has been quite a ride so far. One of my student's who was medically fragile passed away the night before Thanksgiving. It is sad and it does not feel like she is not coming back into my room. The students have handled it well though. My job title has changed- I am now the full time primary resource teacher- the needs and number of the students have grown so much that it required to me to handover preschool and one of the aides who teaches her own preschool in the morning is taking over. It starts officially tomorrow. It is bittersweet because I love my little ones but it is what is best for the whole and they are in good hands.

I really do not have too much else to say. God and I are in weird spot right now. I know I need to devote more time to Him but I don't have the energy to change it. I feel like He has given me a lot to handle and so it is fine if I cut back the time spent with Him. I am also tired of praying prayers that He does not seem to answer. I know this is a stink like poop attitude but it is really where I am at lately. Please pray that He will break me and renew my passion. I am glad that my God can handle my childish temper tantrums.

 I hope this post finds you well. I pray that you are in a better place with God and that He would continually reveal himself to you. May you be blessed, strengthened, and encouraged.

                        That saved a wretch like me,

                                    Katie

"A teacher is a person who can drink 3 cups of coffee before 8 a.m. and hold it until 3:00'

I decided...

to take a quick break from planning to update. Then I realized there is not much to update on. My life is pretty much the same from the last time I updated a month ago. My days are still usually about 12 hours long, I still feel inadequate every day to be doing this job, and I am exhausted. This is a different exhaustion than I ever felt before- it is an exhaustion that reaches to your soul and your very core but also pushes you because you know the reason you are exhausted- the kids- are worth the time, energy, and you have the dream to see them achieve.

I decided...

that I need to work on being just Katie at times and not teacher Katie all the time. I do not have it figured out but I know somehow it needs to be turned off. It is hard though because teaching is not a job you can just forgot about once the work day is over. At times, I do not even feel human, in a sense, anymore because of how much time and energy it takes to be a teacher. I also feel this area is hard being single because I do not have anyone needing or wanting me to come home. I do not have anyone to hold me accountable in this area and to help me take care of me. I have a tendancy to be really good at taking care of other people but not myself. I know I need to work on this but I would appreciate prayers, accountability, help, and advice in this area.

I  decided....

that it is a good thing that Wedding Mania is over. The dresses have been worn, showers planned and thrown, and the speeches have been given. I do not think my heart could handle being in any more weddings right now. I do not think I could rejoice with one more person that they are receiving what I desire. I also do not think that I could handle one more reception alone because it doesn't matter if you are in the wedding party it is still akward. Don't get me wrong, the weddings were beautiful and I am happy for my dear friends but my heart was ready for it to be over.

I decided....

that I really should get back to work. It would be nice to leave before it is dark outside.  I pray that you are taking heart because you know the One who has overcome the world.  May He make His face shine upon you and draw near to you! My love and prayers!

 It's not that I was a sinner and needed a Savior it is that I am a sinner and need a Savior,

                                     Katie

There's always something there to remind me

" I was also really challenged in my own heart today to make sure that I am encouraging every teacher I come in contact with because teaching requires so much support and encouragement. I have also felt even more grateful and indebted to my teachers who put so much time and energy into me. I also feel that I been called into teaching to use my gift of encouraging and motivating others for the good of the school that I am called to. It is exciting to see how God has matched my gifts to what He has called me to do for Him. I just keep that focus on days like today when you sit back and wonder, am I really making a difference? Are they really learning? The call keeps me going and gives me the drive and passion to keep going. I am thankful for God’s grace and spirit that walks me through each day because I know I couldn't’t do this without Him."

Student Teaching Journal from the spring... how quickly I forget and how often I need reminded. 

                               Be thou my Vision,

                                           Katie